What is REAL?

Photo by Marco Ficili

I have organised a fair few weddings and it is so hard to decide which one moved me the most. Was it the wedding in the secret garden where the bride wore her great grandmothers wedding dress or the wedding where the groom could not stop crying (mentioning no names!)...

I think the wedding's that have moved me the most are the ones that have been personalised. The weddings where the couple have written their own vows or a guest sang a traditional Irish wedding song, or the readings were particularly moving. 

I get asked a lot about my personal favourite wedding reading is, instantly The Velveteen Rabbit comes to my mind...

Extract from 'The Velveteen Rabbit'

BY

Margery Williams (1881-1944)

‘What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. ‘Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’ ‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt? Asked the Rabbit. ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’ ‘I suppose you are real?’ said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse only smiled. ‘Someone made me Real,’ he said. ‘That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.’

Catholic wedding in Italy

photo by Marco Ficili

The final location test for your destination wedding is making sure that you can not only be legally married there but that the Church permits foreigners to get married there!

Italy is predominantly a Catholic country and as such you would expect that the Catholic Church would have one rule throughout the land, unfortunately you are forgetting this is Italy!

While the Catholic Church in Italy is granted the legal rights to marry couples not only in the eye of God but also in the eye of the law, not every Bishop or parish Priest agree to performing this service for foreigners and so you may have to perform the civil ceremony in the days before or at home before you leave for Italy and then have a blessing in the Church.

If is important to you to have a legal marriage at the wedding destination be sure you are choosing a destination that will allow foreigners to be married there. If a religious ceremony is important to you, you will want to be absolutely sure that you have checked with the powers-that-be before you settle on a destination. For example, the Catholic Church in the diocese of Vittorio Veneto and on the island of Capri has decided that they will no longer marry foreign Catholics in their churches. They will only marry members of their congregations or couples who have a personal connection to the church and parish, being the location of the proposal does not wash with them, so be aware of this pitfall before you set your heart on something that cannot be.

How do you know if it is possible to celebrate your marriage inside the Catholic Church? Your wedding planner should be able to guide you or you can ask your Priest to make contact with the Diocese in the destination you wish to host your wedding. Remember if the local Priest does not speak your mother tongue you will need a translator and that translator must be an ordained Priest, Nun or Brother.

Photo by Edoardo Agresti